Note to self: you don't like conferences; you prefer traveling in a small group or alone. Remember this so you don't wonder why you're suddenly worn out and on edge immediately preceding or following a conference.

With that mental note intact, perhaps it's also good to mention that words carry variations of meaning and communication between the sexes is not always as clear as one would like. Crystal? Hardly.

Yes, with all this vagueness, I do have a point. I thought it'd be interesting to start a dictionary for introverts and extraverts, for men and women, so we can understand each other a bit better and not be hurt unnecessarily. I'll start with the first one...feel free to add to the list and definitions. I think it'd be a great social experiment.

Entry number one: Together

"both in the same vicinity, maybe doing somewhat the same thing"
Example: play sports with many others; eat meals community/family style; the more the merrier
vs. "just us and maybe a couple other close friends" Clarification: More is not always merrier.

Entry number two: Inspirational
Entry number three: Radical
Entry number four: Getting away
Entry number five: A few friends

Perhaps the reason these last few days felt strained is because of the word "expectations," primarily my own. I fail to realize how quickly my brain creates these "lists" of expectations. My imagination gets carried away and I make up a world of future possibilities and then rely on that made-up world as my map for what will be next, for what to expect. (Make sense?)

It's not something I do consciously. I'm fine with being spontaneous if I don't feel like there are other expectations on my time, if I am not aware of other responsibilities, of other people.

I felt like I let people down by not playing volleyball, running, and swimming with them yesterday. Yet I couldn't be as active because my leg hurt. I couldn't really enjoy myself because I felt guilty for being away. I felt like an extra. It was a staff conference and I'm not part of their staff.

Thankfully, writing it all out, spending some time in prayer, and knowing that I will express these things to the right people when there's a spare moment of time have all been an excellent catharsis.

But really -- I'd love to see other peoples' definitions for "commonly misunderstood" words. We have a whole teaching on it in this writing course -- it's called being concrete rather than abstract. In other words, not dealing with subjective adjectives.