My parents' basement is looking like the likely solution to our temporary homelessness. I can just see the realty tv tycoons knocking on my door for permission to hide cameras in the light fixtures.

The Cast (yes, they all live there)

My 16 year old brother is a high school quarterback who invites teammates over after games. He's quick to share his opinions, especially about politicians or the mental voracity of his teachers. He bathes in Axe. Girls fall for him everywhere, but he couldn't care less. He manages to be sweet and sensitive with them and gives his closest friends advice on girls. "They're just people," he says.

My almost 19 year old sister spent the summer in China after taking a year of college Chinese while being homeschooled via distance education. She's about to begin a year of massage therapy training. Her friend of choice seems to be anyone Asian.

My 21 year old sister, a freelance graphic designer/photographer, moved back home after spending the summer in an apartment of sorts with her best friend, a freelance videographer. She apparently has work coming out of her ears, but not enough yet to move out. Her and her friend's design items fill the spare room. They are usually in the basement working on something when I visit. Or at a coffee shop making plans to rule the local art world. Did I mention her friend also lives there?

The Cat, Merlyn. Merlyn is black. He is treated like a baby by my youngest sister and brother...but regularly goes for two week jaunts into the neighbor's shacks. The siblings swear he just gets lost, but I think the Simpson's episode where Snowball befriended another family really hit home. I grew up being told that cats were filthy and a nuisance, so it's very odd hearing my parents (and all visitors) speak affectionately to this cat in a tone that mimics his whining meows.

My parents, who celebrated their 35th anniversary this summer, are some of the most overworked, underappreciated people I know. My mom teaches a couple classes at a private school (my husband is her assistant) and counsels tons of people. When it's marriage counseling, both my parents are involved. My dad, though he would like to write books (and should), is often stuck mowing lawns or doing other maintenance work because the rest of the staff don't want to or "don't have the time."

My husband and I are working for/with my parents for the rest of this year.

The Set
A ranch house with 3 real bedrooms and 1.5 bathrooms upstairs plus all the usual stuff. In the finished basement is a second living area, a windowless office/storage, a laundry room, and another bedroom.

Yes, that would mean a stampede to the only shower each morning.

Our room there could be the windowless office...where I vowed I would never again live. The wall separating that office from my sister's room are not very thick.

The Plot
Most of the conflict might be centered around a) use of the shower b) personal space/privacy c) parking in the driveway. (Besides, reality TV is all contrived plot anyway.)

My mom said it best to my dad: "We need to find someone who needs house sitting so they don't have to cram in here." My dad's solution is that we stay at a trailer park. He's only mostly joking.

So...why do we only have three months left here? We're moving to Hawaii for a writing job for two or three months. The housing there is up in the air as well. We might stay with my in-law's friend's brother-in-law or something ridiculous like that.

But Hawaii. That is the gleam in my eye on these dreary, damp fall days when the very marrow of my bones protest the weather.