As we went to sleep, my husband and I talked about what we would've dressed our son as. A Cowboy, I thought. Not the one who rides horses, but the one who throws a football.

I looked over at the bedside table and saw the little puppy dog that matches the one we buried with our son.

"No, how about a puppy dog," I said. "I can imagine him dressed up as a little puppy. I would've put some paint on his little nose and drawn some whiskers on his cheeks."

Even though our son isn't with us, we still talk about him. It's hard, it really is. I had such dreams for him. We both did. I can't imagine what life would be like right now with a baby.

He would be about 6 weeks old now, if he hadn't been born so early. I wondered how big that would be so I looked on You Tube. I must say, six week old babies are the cutest thing.